you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After tacos, we're chasing women.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
