the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
