Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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