I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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