I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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