When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
