This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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