I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
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So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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