Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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