Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize