You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
