a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
