found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
