It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
