You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
