He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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