I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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