My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Found your dick twin last night
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
