He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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