Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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