she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
