And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
