I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My hand turned me down
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
