what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
