just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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