I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
