she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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