It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
