i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
how do flat chested girls get laid?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
