Slut skills are useful in every country.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
