You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize