You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize