a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
