Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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