K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Randomize
