We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
