I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
