i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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