i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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