Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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