problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
