I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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