Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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