What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
