and i looked up. we had an audience...
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
