I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
