booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I supernannyed him into submission
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
