tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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