I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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