I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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