Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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