Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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