yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Randomize
