His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize