Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(845): View more from New York

At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.

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(727): View more from Florida

Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus

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(773): View more from Illinois

you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"

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(551): View more from New Jersey

She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does

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(815): View more from Illinois

he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...

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(323): View more from California

Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient

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(703): View more from Virginia

Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"

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(571): View more from Virginia

I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.

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