wat bout pragnant strippers??
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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