My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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