i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
