he wants to bone in the snuggie
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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